Honest Hammer
6:40 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Embarressed by a fart?
Never.
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Willtell
5:39 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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When buying a house in France about 10 years ago the farmers wife we were buying from let out a rip-snorter that was impossible to ignore because it wasn't silent. Her husband and the estate agent though carried on as if nothing had happened....
Fucking weird the French are!
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Cheezey Bell-End
4:45 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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When I was about 16 I stunk out a packed lift coming down from the 1st stage of the Eiffel Tower.. Evacuated very quickly when the doors opened.
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united we stand
3:28 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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This thread could do better!
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worm
3:19 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Many years a go our family spent Christmas at my Grandparents.
My little brother and I were put in my uncles room, I was on a blow up mattress while my brother was in the spare bed.
We were laying there chatting bollox when I felt the urge to let one go. I got up, sat on my brothers head and let it go.
The poofy little cunt cried. I got a bollocking.
Even now, some 30 years later I remind the grassing cunt what a baby he was. :)
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BRANDED
1:09 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I prefer abnoxious smelly ones. They have impact over a longer period.
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bruuuno
12:58 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I was walking out of a taco bell while on holiday in the US a few years ago. Just as I was about to let rip I saw a group of nuns about to come through the door so I held it for a few seconds longer then farted with all my might just as I walked past them. Five seconds long and as loud a grunt as you've ever heard. My poor mate was right behind me and not only did he get to smell it he also copped the wrath of the nuns who gasped as he fell about laughing.
Definately one of my proudest moments.
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Son of Anarchy
12:36 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Fart...and the whole world farts with you
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JGW1
12:35 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Was in a hotel in a market town with window on 1st floor above an alleyway. Hot night with the window open and a noisy queue below for the little local nightclub next door. So noisy that I decided to stick my arse out the window and give then both barrells. The noisy nubbub of mildly pissed chat and laughter was ripped apart by my echoing retort, followed by stunned silence in the alley below for several seconds followed by various "what the fuck!?" Exclamations as me and the mrs rolled about with laughter.
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Son of Anarchy
12:19 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I heard someone let one go during a minuetes silence on november 11th in the office.
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TOMBO316
12:02 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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met a Bird in Majorca on holiday and went to her mates room for some afternoon delight.
we both fell asleep (after about 2 hours of course")
i opened my eyes and let out the biggest Baff I have ever done, it went on for about 30 seconds and increased in volume by the second.
Like any self respecting man, i was revelling in the artistry of my ring, when this girl, who I had forgotten I was in bed with , leaned over and said " Are you sure?"
I pissed myself laughing, which pissed her off even more, and left rather promptly
One of my happiest moments!!!
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jack flash
12:02 Mon Feb 8
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I was a young lad in my pre-reg year before becoming a fully qualified optometrist (& still very green)
I was working in a busy West End practice & as I led this charming old dear out of the test room, into the busy shop floor area, full of people, having finished examining her eyes, she let this fcuking ripper go
Of course I went bright scarlet, as the old dear blagged it keeping a perfectly straight face & just turned to look straight at me!
I bet she'd rehearsed it before a few times!
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MrTrentReznor
9:43 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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As a child I let out a tremendous effort when in bed. My mother was downstairs - not immediately underneath the bedroom I was in. She rushed to the bottom of the stairs as she thought one of us had fallen out of bed. She couldn't believe the upstairs commotion was caused by a child fart.
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Far Cough
9:14 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I had to go in hospital for a broken back and because of that, I couldn't use my back muscles to push out a shit or a fart, well eventually, I got my muscle strength back and after about a week of nothing, one late night after the lights went out, I let rip with the most ENORMOUS fart you have ever heard, I must have woke up the whole ward and what a relief it was too
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monto
9:10 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I once cleared one corner of the upstairs of East Ham Working Mens Club.
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eusebiovic
9:07 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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The loudest and most powerful ones never smell...they have nothing to push through
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Hammer and Pickle
8:19 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Nice one 147.
I also like to think one of my redeeming features as a dad is my sense of humour.
And odourless flatulence.
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147man
7:40 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Once went to Ikea with the wife and kids, as you know Ikea is a large shed like open space, as we neared the end of the route march I could feel the need to let rip - I profered the index finger of my right hand to my youngest and invited him to "Pull that"
He duly obliged and relaxed my sphincter to allow the fart to escape
Immediately I did it I was shocked by how loud it was, I knew that this was a collectors item
Up to 20 yards away people spun round to look at me, my son had collapsed in laughter - It was something special
Funnily enough there was no particular odour (isn't that always the way)
This occurred 15 years ago and even know my son will occasionally say to me "Remember that fart....." and we will share a laugh
He knows, I know and anyone who was in Ikea that day know
And now you know
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Briano
7:34 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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I worked in an office a while ago and our stunningly attractive female administrator let one rip on a Monday morning, red faced muted apology followed by pungent foul pen an ink.
Never quite the same after that
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Bungo
7:11 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Late night in an Indian restaurant in Hampton and robbed of inhibitions by Cobra, I once let one go that earned me a round of applause from all the people on the neighbouring table.
I am still quite proud of that.
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zebthecat
7:03 Sun Feb 7
Re: What is the loudest and most embarassing fart you have ever done or witnessed?
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Rodfarts
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